‘if she ever found him sad or thinking too much, she would say something funny, make him laugh, tell him it’s going to be fine and the warmth and joy she felt in her heart whenever she was successful in making him smile, satisfied her’

I read it somewhere ‘the joy one gets in making others happy is invincible.It makes one whole, makes one content.’ When I read those lines I had never felt like it, although I had made people happy around me in some or the other way but I never found my happiness in it. I still did not know what it felt like making someone happy and feeling at peace.

And recently I have been having this very particular feeling. It’s different from happiness or blissfulness; it’s a three letter word ‘joy’. Joy brings with it truck loads of happiness and satisfaction, all at one time. Joy is not just about you, it’s about more than you and it’s about someone else. Joy is not about just making someone
 smile, it’s about feeling good when youlook at that smile. Yes! There is an ulterior motive behind bringing that joy,a selfish one to be precise.

I had never thought I would ever experience such a feeling or a feeling likethat existed. I always thought that when I look at my friends smiling knowing that I made them, made me feel like smiling but I had never felt the feeling of warmth and of being whole until now. Making someone happy brought a whole new perspective to me and I realized there is so much within us waiting to be explored, so much emotions waiting to come out,
so many thoughts waiting to be analyzed and so many beliefs waiting to be formed.

So if ever you find a feeling so pure, purer than the feeling of love, consider yourself lucky because then along with love you would have found peace and satisfaction as love still does form a tiny part of that word ‘joy’.

‘She said that one line that always made him laugh, she made that adorable face that always made him smile, even though somewhere knowing the future she was hurting inside. And then she remembered the line- for you a thousand times over’

|

it pains when u no longer own a feeling..an idea..a creation u lived...imagined...dreamed..prayed..initiated..and loved with all your heart....

it pains when ppl u share all yr jokes wid dunt find it funny...

it pains wen yr intentions are accused...

it pains wen u keeep holdin on to an idea...a belief a faith for sooooo long only to find someday that u were holdin on thin air...

funny...but true...how something can brush across yr heart in a fraction of seconds n giv u pain that u neva imagined...

funny how some third parties words keep back to u..encirclin in yr mind...how much eva u try to rmove the crap----its crap after all..isnt it?

funny how ppl whom we luv care n adore behave strangely wid us....in a manner that wrenches d heart....

funnny how we make d most wildest decisions based on the situation mentioned above...

decisions dat we may not have dreamt of making...decisions wich r taken by facing the heat--

-wen it pains...coz wen it does...it burns not only d heart but also d face...d cheeks..d eyes...

funnny wat a day-an hr-a minute can do to u n yr state of mind...

funny wen sometimes u feel best wen u r left alone...d silence...d slow breathing...d sanctity of yr own presence...everything bout u dat u feel to notice wen u r in a crowd...

funny wat "pain" can do to u..p-a-i-n!!!

the 4 letter monster wich hurts pokes...makes u cry...but teaches u...a moment of pain can teach u wat a decade of happiness cant!!!!

PS:- i dunno what i want, may be love, life, dream, ambition....or may be silence, isolation.....!

In  my dream you are my life

but in my life you are my dream...

PPS:- passing through the bad phases of my life...in front of my eyes i am seeing my red rose turning into yellow..! but i can't say anything, more over i have to pretend as if yellow is better than red...! 
 

|

When I was a kid, I was taught to move forward with everyone, to take into consideration what might be good for all than what might be good just for me. I was taught that there are rules and I need to live by them, for if I don’t I will bring grief to myself and everyone related to me. I was asked to ‘sacrifice’ my individuality for the collective thought, my perceptions for the vision that was presented before me, my grey for their black and white and my black and white for their grey.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I have grown up, I set my own rules. Rules, which I like to break and rules which broke many frontiers. My journey started from an Indian village to a metropolitan city, and I landed in so called engineering college with loads of dream and ambition. After becoming 3/4^th of engineer I can say I am jack of all trade but master of none. I roam here and there, I rant, I cant ……but I won’t bore you by talking how I spent my last 3 year or how stupid I have grown in becoming 3/4^th of engineer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My friends tell me, I laugh a lot. My mp3 version of uff!!! Is so nice that it can be recorded for further dissection J loll!  They think I am one of the luckiest guys who don’t have any tension and who prefer always laughing and making others to smile but maybe i am a great illusionist in this field. I have got a talent for not showing my deepest wound which I am dissecting as I move on in life. I prefer isolation, I prefer imagination because in the realm of reality you will only get pain, and this world is full of masquerades, people know more to take work with you rather giving company when you really need it in your bad phases.

                It is surprising how your feelings can betray you even if you're behind the safety of a monitor and a key-board and not staring in the eyes of the one you're talking to...

Here quote a famous line by Sydney Sheldon:

"if you give a man a fish, he can have a meal,
but if you teach him to fish, he can eat for the rest of his life."

PS: One day I might be the deepest imprints embossed upon your heart; second a mere acquaintances and the third just a fading memories………..

--praveen

|