When he sat by the side of his mechanical block and watch the couples talking, full devoted towards each other, eyes in eyes a sudden wave of nostalgia hit him. He was reminded of the girl whom he love beyond the limit. With whom he want to enjoy every second of his life but fails to do the same.

He get reminded the date when he first kissed her. He reminded of the girl who gave him a reason to life the life, she rejuvenated him, gave the hope and then suddenly got lost in her personal family affair.
   
             The boy waited..continued waiting...time passed and this waiting turned into memories. He started living in the memories of that girl. Thinking and begging infront of god for his life. He started losing faith on each and every person. The feelings for that girl started turning into vehement. He begged infront of her to meet him, only once becoz he was sure that he will get back in his life. He just want to drape on her so that he can feel his love.
 
              Feelings of the boy turned into hope. He hope that one day he will start behaving normal. One day his love will come to him and will hold his hand and say " look here i am for you to take you off back to the world". "Here i am for you, just for you to turn your nostalgia into a smile." "Here i am in your world to explore my world in yours".

              But for the boy these hope is only a hope. Hope with Nostalgia. And Nostalgia with Fear. And Fear with Death....The death of the boy..He don't want to live any more, talk any more. He prefer to die than to live without her.

              He is sure that one day he is going to end the chapter of his love with the ending of his life because he can't end his love story just by keeping himself alive. If he is alive, his love for that girl is alive. He can't end his love for that girl keeping himself alive........

because

he love that girl very much.

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I have found, what you call it love,

but I lost my best friend

I have found, what you call it success,

but I lost my freedom

I have found, what you call it ur family

but I lost my dream of making my own family with

I have found a sequel to live my life up to,

but my desire to live has died

I have found, what relation is,

but I can't decipher why we fight to end the relation

I have found the reason to miss for her

but it seems that I have lost her

PS: The last line doesn't co-relate with my present jiffy.

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Sometimes, you state the obvious to get introspective. We know that the present era is multicasting the capabilities of grey matter. From engineers to doctor, from corporate honchos to soldiers protecting the motherland, everyone is helping build the nation's future. The birth of the different weapons has generated extensive speculation about the potential consequences of the development for any nation. A peep into the history will tell us that army has played a vital role in developing the country, by not just protecting it when there is the need for it but also in helping in the times of disaster and crisis. So be in the train accident or earthquakes, the men in uniform are always there to lend their support.
From the making of MIG fighter plane to launching CHANDRAYAN the forces have done their bit. In fact today a Nation's progress is judged by the strength of the forces, their weapons, their tenacity. In fact talking of the forces, even we will go back 11 years, one will see what real courage is. Kargil war was not just a war; it brought alive a vivid images of brave soldiers, fighting to protect their motherland. What started as a war soon spread as a movement. For it was for the first time in recent past that patriotism same so close to next vivid form. So be it captain Batra's "Dil mange more" was cry or the fact that Kargil, just another place on India's map for most Indian (and we are talking civilian) bacame a matter of national pride meant s lot for soldiers. For till now, their sacrifice was just a figure in newspaper headlines adding to causalities but with Kargil people began to put faces to those numbers, emotions to those sacrifices. What if soldiers hadn't been selfish ? It could have meant other repercussion for the nation, hampering its progress. Terrorism could have been much worse than what it is now!!

And come to think of it, one of the things that make the India different from a lot of country is its secularism, a thing that has been part of soldier's life since he probably thought of the forces. Mingling with different cultures, different geographies, and different ways of life is almost a way of life for soldiers. The word posting is a part of a soldier's life. So be it their own country or another, restoring peace is their motive. The restoration of peace automatically leads to development. Men in forces are a strong guiding factors to a nation's progress.
Jai Hind, Jai Bharat!!
written by:
praveen
a second year mechanical engineering student
PS: my above article was published in the INDIAN SALUTE MAGAZINE OCTOBER EDITION 2010

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I say i care, i show i care, but when it is not valued don't i start barking it aloud to the whole world just proving that in reality i hardly care.

I say i love, i show i love, but when i am not loved in return don't i cry infront of others making that person culprit.

I say i need you, i show i need you, but when i feel ingnored don't i change my needs to drinks and smokin'.

I say i don't wanna hurt you, but don't i hurt you by repeating this phrase millions of time when you are just not interested.

I say i miss you, i show i miss you, but when you don't reply being busy with some serious stuff, don't i stop saying it next time.

I say i understand, i show i understand, but when you don't understand sometimes, don't i start making an issue.

I say i just want your happiness, but don't i become a hurdle when i see you being happy with someone else.

I say i m sorry, i show m sorry, but do i really mean it, when i keep on repeating the same mistakes again and again.

I say i l manage, i pretend i l manage, when i can't manage my emotions how can i say the same about life.

I say i don't give a damn, when i m obsessed with only that thing, m i not just keeping my ego at priority.

I say i don't cry, i pretend i never do, but why my pillow is wet most of the times.

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Well! here is my some truth!!! i have been tagged by one of my friend. ThAnKs!!!

1. Last drink: Water... :) she (secret) will be happy reading this!..lol
2. Last phone call : to the love of my life.. ;)
3. Last text message: I need to check my cellphone :| .. its probably from my dearest bebo... 
 4. Last song you listened to: ...tum bin jiya jaye kaise, kaise jiya jaye tum bin-... I'm stuck to it.. :)

Have You Ever... 
5. Dated someone twice: Um... i dont get the question.. :$ ..
6. Been cheated on? : I hope not!
7. Kissed someone & regretted it? : nope... :)
8. Lost someone special? : Yes I have. 
9. Been depressed? : Is that even a question?!?!.. Of course I have!...
Four Favourite Colors... 
10. Black (love it..love it..love it!!!-because she love it)  
11. White (Yeah...I know... thats boring!..lol but it suits best on me) 
12. Blue  
13. Red
Firsts...
14. Made new friends: Well..Duh!!..
15. Fallen out of love: Yes.. when you are in something called "puppy love"... 
16. Laughed until you cried: Hell yeah!! LOADS of times!!!!
17. Met someone who changed you: Hummmm!!!!... yes... Someone has changed me and the same someone keeps me from changing anymore! :p ;) (YOU know who you are!!!)
18. Found out who your true friends were: Yes!.. I certainly have found out who my true friends are... thank God!

Have You...
19.How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: A few..lol... but I know the rest exist too! :p
20. Do you have any pets:Well! once i have had......a parrot!!! he/she (i don't know about sex)....but right now i don't have any pets and i don't want to keep it.....i love freedom and their's too.......
21. Do you want to change your name: No way..Praveen sounds best.......she love my name....and i too............
22. What did you do for your last birthday: Ummm.. nothing.. It was just another ordinary and boring day...but i missed her because i was in jamalpur and she was 476 km away from me......
23. What time did you wake up today: 3:30 AM...i have to massage her ........she will be waiting for that....
24. What were you doing at midnight last night: missing my jaan.......
25. Last time you saw your father: This morning :)
26. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I can't decide on one thing... There are a few things... no point listing them here!
27. Most visited webpage: My email.at indiatimes.com my orkut, my webpage (i love it) and many more ........
What's Your...
28. Name: just look up......and LOL..yeh!!!
29. Zodiac sign: gemini
30. Male or female: male
31. Elementary: Paas kar liya :) YEY!!! ... in 2007
32. School: didn't get u but i was a rocking student of st. michaels high school, jamalpur.........
33. Colleges: Bengal Institute of Technology & Mnagement-Shantinekatan (It ROCKS BABY!!!)
34. Hair Color: black!!! iiish!!! 
35. Long or Short: still short but i love to keep long hair......
36. Height: 5feet 10inch
37. Do you have a crush on someone? : Ummmmmmmh!!... Yeah....
38. Ever been in love? : Yes Yes YES!!!! I am head over heals deeply in love!
39. Piercings? : Yes! my nose...e
40. Tattoos? : i hate tattoos.......
41. Righty or lefty: Righty.
42. First surgery: None.. Thank God!!
43. First piercing: didn't get the question!!!
44. First best friend: yeeah!!! PANKAJ (first one )
45. First sport you loved: computer game.....(but now i hate it)
46. first pet: parrot.......
47. First vacation: didn't remember...............
48. First concert: never have gone............
49. First crush: When I was in 8th... I still remember her name..Mausam... Lol...
Right Now...
50. Eating: Nothing
51. Drinking: Nothing
52. I'm about to: Loose my patience.. this tag is too long!!!!
53. Listening to: music.......ek pardeshi mera dil le gaya........
54.Waiting for: Someone who can help me out in completing my syllabus in Thermodynamics...semester is on head!!! i am afraid...sorry carry on......
Your Future...
55. Want kids? : Yes! Without a doubt!!!
56. Want to get married? : Yes!!! Dying to spend each and every moment with her :)
57. Careers in mind? : i want to be an industrialist !!! a MBA wala stud guys from INDIAN INTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT- AHEMDABAD......
Which is better with opposite sex...??
58. Lips or eyes: lips...and then eyes.....
59. Hugs or kisses: Both..  :p
60. Shorter or taller: just 1 inch shorter than me!!
61. Romantic or spontaneous: Oh.. she is both! Very very very romantic!.. and too spontaneous!

Have you ever...??
62. Kissed a stranger: No.
63. Lost glasses/contacts: I don't wear either! So I can't loose them!
64. Sex on first date: No... I'm not a whimp! :p
65. Broken someone's heart: I hope........!
66. Had your own heart broken: No..
67. Been arrested: No.
68. Turned someone down: I think I did.. in school... oops..
69. Cried when someone died: didn't think so.........
70. Liked a friend that is a girl: Like in which way?? As in just like.. yes I like my friends! .. or a Like like way.. no..I'm straight!
Do you believe in...
71. Yourself: Yes.. I think so...
72. Miracles: Yes.. I think...
73. God: Never... but always share my feelings in the name of GOD...
74. Love at first sight: yaaaah!!... that "first sight" i got my luv in first sight..........
75. Heaven: Well.. Yes..
76. Kiss on the first date: It's not a bad idea.. It's just a kiss..

Answer truthfully... (That's what I have been doing you silly person!!!)
77. Is there one person you want to be with right now? : Yes...
78. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? : No....never!!! i am one woman man!!!
79.Wanted to kill someone ever? : Oh yes.. quiet a few times!!
80. Committed a blunder and regretted later? : Yes.. I always do that!
81. wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: no...... what i have i love it...i am very true to her :)
Associate with something you wear...
82. White: Shirt
83. Black: till now only one t-shirt.....presented my academy of technology in tech fiesta....
84. Red: i think to wear that
85. Pink: naaaaaaah!!!!And I am not tagging anyone else.. because I'm sure most everyone has done this! So if any of you want to do it.. I tag you! :)
it was really a patience to give the answer of all the question but all the answer was true to me.......so i just put the title as the truth of praveen's life.......
------scribbled by mr fantastic....
(this name has been given by my beautiful bebo.......) 

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I think that sometime when your word fails to explain something, when you are in the state of ramification, when you try to make someone understand that you are not wrong at that jiffy, when the silence continues and when you are in the east and your love in the west................then

                                                                         Yeh doorian

Yeh doorian

Yeh doorian

In raho ki doorian

Nigahon ki doorian

Humraho ki doorian

Fanna ho sabhi doorian

Kyun koi paas hai, door hai

Kyun koi jaane na ,

koi yahan pe

Aa raha paas ya door mein

Ja raha janoo na mein hu kahan pe

Yeh doorian

In raho ki doorian

Nigahon ki doorian

Humraho ki doorian

Fanna ho sabhi doorian

Yeh doorian

Yeh doorian Yeh doorian…aaaa.….

Kabhi hua yeh bhi, khali rahon pe bhi

Tu tha mere saath ,

Kabhi tujhe milke, lauta mere dil yeh

Khali khali haath Yeh bhi huwa kabhi,

jaise huwa abhi Tujko sabhi mein paa liya

Tera mujhe kar jathi hai doorian

Satati hai doorian

Tarsathi hai doorian

Fanna ho sabhi doorian

Kaha bhi na main ne, nahin jeena main ne

Tu jo na mila Tujhe bhule se bhi,

bola na mein yeh bhi Chahu fasala

Bas fasala rahe banke kasak jo kahe

Ho aur chahat yeh jawan

Teri meri mit jani hai doorian

Begani hai doorian

Hat jani hai doorian

Fanna ho sabhi doorian

Kyun koi paas hai, door hai

Kyun koi jaane na , koi yahan pe

Aa raha paas ya door mein

Ja raha janoo na mein hu kahan pe

Yeh doorian

In raho ki doorian

Nigahon ki doorian

Humraho ki doorian

Fanna ho sabhi doorian

Yeh doorian yeh doorian yeh doorian…

 

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I try. I really do. It’s hard to let go. Memories. Its not only the bad ones but the good ones too. The good ones too? Yeah, call me crazy. I think that the best way to move on with life is to erase all memory of the past. Then you don’t have to look back at the bad ones and regret and be sullen about it or think about the good ones and feel bad that life is going down the slope now. I always thought that the best way to hold on to someone or something special was by making them a part of my memory. These are the things/people you never wanna lose. I was wrong. It’s easier said than done. That ephemeral joy of the memory will be soon devoured by reality. Pain. Hurt. And its more bad memories again. It’s a vicious circle. Memories-worry is wat happens then. 

 

But why is it that life is so much more nicer when we think about our childhood days and the fun we had when we were growing up? 

Why is it that I never want to forget the times I was scolded by my teachers for my wrong doings ,even though I cried my eyes out ? 

Why is it that we never remember the dates that well as we remember the moments ?

Why is it that the best memories are the ones that hurt me the most ?

Why is it that even though I know its going to be hard to stay in touch with my friends I don’t wanna lose the memories of the times I spent with them ? 

Why is it that the thing in my head always wants me to remember ? To be remembered ? 

Why is it that even though I wanna let go of my memories, I’m unable to? 

Sometimes life’s best experiences are learnt through memories.But now I realize that the more I try to forget these memories the more I think of them. Memories are the doorways into our past. Memories are a way of connecting with the unconnected. Its the good-byes that will always hurt, and the memories that bring tears.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. And I want to be remembered , I don’t want to be a forgotten memory.
Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.

PS:- I dedicate the last line of my post to my beautiful bebo.................n.
scribbled by: praveen

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The bed room window allows me to drift outside my world and compels me to think what I have achieved and what I lost a couple of months ago. The moods of my mind gently whisper and weave. The message floats by and refuses to leave. This constant emotion keeps filtering and asks to each and every corner of my heart & mind and pinch somewhere deep in my heart, am I a stupid brat? Am I the one who need only everyone’s curse? Am I the only one who doesn’t have the permission to cuddle my beloved one?

I don’t want the “HAD” word to scribble in any way in my life. You know dude, this is the most powerful word I have encountered yet! Once I had a best friend. It sounds very pitiful na?

Yup!

But today also I miss one of my best friends. Today also I pray for her. I think I am damn crazy about my best friend that’s why she refuses me and I care. I am forced to pander for my hearts whim.

As thunder roars and Lightning reigns,
And life's sieve tears in this torrential rain,
And darkness sets right on cue,
I'm left asking - where are you?

Don't write me a letter or sing me a song.
Don't even tell me about what went wrong.
All I need is merely one clue,
Tell me please, where are you?

PS: plz dude let her know that i am not a stupid brat....

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never cry for any relation in your life,
because for the one whom you cry don't deserve your tears...
and those who deserve your tears...
will never let you cry in your life.....
sob!! sob!! sob!!!

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 VENUE- BITM-HOSTEL

 TIME-11:30PM               

Not having a goal in life leads to confusion... with most of the important decisions in life!

I have no place of my own; physically and in people's lives, except you( my love )!

I don't know where to go... I keep screwing up stuff.. and it hurts... but I still am true to myself ( i think )!

Now;I have goals.. the only thing is that I am not doing anything about it!! I should start!!! when???????

OK..sorry if i have confused you.. but I am sort of thinking in print!! 

Between.. I am in love.. and that is not going to change.. ( again.... I think )

I LOVE U

PS:- Most of the time I think falling in love leads to a great confusion but now I thing that falling in love leads to some confession also. It will change the taste of all your desire and wishes. you will love to prefer isolation, the perfect isolation.

THANK GOD I CONFESSED I AM IN LOVE...

ciaos:

praveen (fantastic)

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