I feel the need to write today although I have no reason or inspiration to do so. I can’t think of anything to say that won’t sound like everything I’ve said here before. If I write anything at all, it’ll be woven around my standard nonsense- those stale ideas of constancy, numbness, discomfort, timelessness, changelessness, hopelessness, unease. They are like the keywords in describing my every experience. So any effort to put down thoughts is guaranteed to fail.

I dive into a fictitious world every free waking minute of my life, unless my mind is too tired for it. And that happens way too often. My neural networks are catching dust; poor Na+ ions seem to be perpetually perplexed. And the neurotransmitters are probably on a holiday. Disorientation reigns. It’s a state that is inflexible and unaccommodating. It causes reluctance to carry out activities that are typically fun. Quite plainly, it’s dull and renders one incapable of exercising will. The psychologist calls it a mood disorder. The psychiatrist calls it mental strain. The pragmatist calls it a phase. The theorist calls it a threshold. The artist observes silently. The narcissist calls it (pronouncedly) idiocy. The commoner calls it sadness. The realist calls it life.


Summer’s approached with summer vacation. The 12-pm direct heat on the forehead feels incredible, almost like a physical blessing. Long walks on sultry afternoons are therapeutic. I colour the world around with the music in my ears. Life becomes easy again, free of bother, no tension of studying and masturbating with R.S KHURMI, and no more THERMODYNAMICS – in harmony with my surroundings and with friends and siblings.
I AM ENJOYING......

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He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes

started making his way in the past 2 in the morning

he hasn't been sober for days......

pondering for the future and for her future mate.....

The sudden realisation of urgency makes him more impatient with every passing tick on the clock. Search for it inside, outside around and beyond...only to ask himself what he is looking for there? Can't think straight, loss of focus, never knew that a void this huge existed within him.....

....................denouncing for the thinking that he possesd on that night, he wiped his tear at 3, smiling at his foolish thought he woke up, went to the washroom of his hostel, splashed the water on his face and said...

where were you

when everything was falling apart?

all my days 

were spent by the telephone

which never rang

and all I needed was a call 

that never came.....

 PS: It was a crap idea in the mind of blogger to come up with the idea that resulted in a demistifying blog. Sorry it was just the writer's mind BlOcK.....

gud night 

--praveen

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I have found, what you call it love,

but I lost my best friend

I have found, what you call it success,

but I lost my freedom

I have found, what you call it ur family

but I lost my dream of making my own family with

I have found a sequel to live my life up to,

but my desire to live has died

I have found, what relation is,

but I can't decipher why we fight to end the relation

I have found the reason to miss for her

but it seems that I have lost her

PS: The last line doesn't co-relate with my present jiffy.

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